New Script... Again :D

So we whent thru the story again and made som big changes.
We also probably nailed the ending too.

JOHN DOE pushes open the front door to his apartment. A ton of commercial has been piled up in front of the door. He barely makes a gap so he can squeeze in. He tosses his wet uniform hat on a cloth rack and walks tiredly over to the kitchen area.

His baggy eyes glare over at the freezer. He takes a frozen pack of disgusting microwave food out of the freezer and places the pack in the microwave oven. A commercial for Happy Coke trails along the surface of the pack. After setting the timer he grabs a warm beer from the barely working refrigerator and heads over to his TV.

He turns on the TV just in time to catch the intro to his favorite TV show. Just after the intro is done a commercial break starts. He gets a bit annoyed over this, but at the same time the microwave says that his food is done. Of course, the oven have to spew out a commercial for Happy Coke, and how tasty it would be in combination with the food.

On his way to the kitchen area he spots a huge floating commercial screen outside his window. He angrily tosses a pillow at the window before he heads for the kitchen area.

He takes the tray out of the oven, forgetting that its really hot, and burns his hands in the process.

As he cools his hands under cold water from the sink he spots the commercial screen again, floating just in front of his window. He gets really pissed at this sign, floating there with it's stupid message for Happy Pain Killers. Angrily he closes the drapes in front of the window to avoid seeing that stupid sign again.

JD takes a towel and picks up the food before he walks back to the TV. Sadly, he only catches a glimpse of the show he intended to see before a new commercial break starts. When he then sees the commercial screen coming floating up outside of his window again he snaps.

He gets up, grabs the TV, and tosses it through the window at the commercial sign. The screen of the commercial sign breaks, but the sign remains floating. A small white light builds up at the top of the commercial sign. A sudden white flash blinds JD and paralyzes him.

A HUGE GUY walks into JD's apartment and ties a strap around JD's waste. He lifts JD up and drags him out of the apartment. Bumping his head in the wall. The huge guy walks out the door, and close it behind himself.

Fade to black

Int. Mental hospital

JD's eyes slowly opens, his vision is blurry. He is in some huge white room. He can barely see the shade of a head with a mask leaning over him before he doses off again.

Fade to black

INT. JOHN DOE'S APARTMENT

JD walks happily in, doing a pirouette and slams the radio button as he walks in the door. Everything around him looks great, and the music is playing louder that ever. He struts over to the kitchen area of his wonderful apartment and takes a tasty pack of fast food out of the freezer. He places the pack in the microwave oven, sets the timer. He does a few dance moves to the tune while he waits for the food to be done.

While JD is dancing in front of the microwave the billboard comes floating once again. As he dances he hear a snapshot-sound, which makes him turn fully around to face the black screen, which momentarily generate a picture of the pose he held when the noise was heard, with a newly generated slogan. "Try Happy Treatment, and feel the difference". He smiles and salutes the sign before he starts dancing again. As the camera slowly goes backwards, you see the apartment gradually fade into a worse state than ever, and music from the radio goes from loud music to thin, awful radio-sound with JD still dancing as if it was a rave-party. The camera still goes backwards, through the kitchen window until the whole house in the shot, where you just see the sign place itself on top of the house. A futuristic city filled with advertisements in the background.

Script writing has begun!

Today we started to write the script. So far we have the story pretty much nailed down. But we have some difficulties deciding on the end :)

So far 3 different endings:

He walks over to the window a commercial sign slowly floats by. A huge image of himself is posted on it, holding a canister of pills. The sign reads "Happy Pills, making your miserable life non miserable, 1 pill at a time. Now also with cranberry taste!". He picks up a canister with pills and raises it in a toast to the sign, before he chugs down a few pills.

He stands dancing in front of the oven, and the cam goes backwards, out the window, and up. Where it reveals a huge sign with a poster of JD standing holding a canister of happy pills.

He stands dancing in front of the oven, and the cam focuses on the window, where a commercial monitor floats by with an image of himself holding a canister of happy pills.

Projekt Treatment

So here it is :D The story for our projekt.
I translated it to english from norwegian, and did some changes to it.
This will be my draft i will show to the rest of my group.

JOIN US!

John doe comes home to his boring and sad appartement from a long day's work, he is exausted and sleepy.
He preheats a Joy-Meal, whitch he loates, in his microoven before he sinks down in his chair infront of his TV. In his arms he holds a cold and well deserved beer. Today one of his favorite movies is being show on TV, and he has been looking forward to it all day.
The show starts, but as soon as the intro is done the movie is abrupted by commercials.
John says a few curse words before he pulls himself up from his chair to get his food.
On his way out to the kitchen he notices one of his most hated things in this day and age, a floating commercial board. Aggitated he pulls his curtains infront of the window. The microfood is done, but insted of a pling a voice says " Enjoy your Joy-Meal with a Smile-coke today!".
Quickly he gets his food out of the micro before he heads back to the TV. He sinks down into his chair again, the commercials is still on. He is about to pull off the lid on the food, when he sees a live commercial on it. Its a lady babling about the new and better kind of Joy-Meal's. He pulls off the lid, and throws it into his livingroom corner.The movie finaly starts again, and the main protagonist is introduced. In the middle of a sentence the movie is cut off again by commercials. John throws his plate of food at the TV breaking it. He breath's heavely and is clearly stressed. Suddenly the room is lit with bright colors, burning John's eyes. Its that damn commercial sign again, it has floated to his other window. John jumps out of his chair and walks angry towards the window. He sees his gray booring plant in its pot in the window, and grabs it. He throws it at the sign, but the pott only breaks and slides of it. Its advertising for a "Happy-Pill" that will turn your life for the better. John has had enough and screams at the sign, before he notices that his gun is still in his belt.
He takes it up and empties his clip in the sign, the sign blow's up in smaler pieces and falls down in the streets.
John walks into his room and slams the door shut. He throws himself at his bed, and almost before he lands he's asleep.

John wakes up, the sun is burning his eyes. A blurry shape appears above him.
Its a man in white coat from the advertising company. The man says in a calm voice "Join us!" Before he forcely takes John with him to a mental institution.

A few days later, the door to Johns appartement opens.
Its John, in his work clothes. He has a big smile on his face and seems relaxed.
The appartement looks bright and colorfull. John cant wait to eat his delicous "Joy-Meal" and almost dances infront of his micro. Suddenly he notices a floating sign outside his window again.
He walks to the window and stares at it, its the same commercial for the "Happy-Pills". Theres a big picture of John on it with his tumb up and a pill box in his other hand. The title says "I used to live a sad life, but Happy-Pills made me alot better" "Thank you Happy Co.".
John smiles, and raises a pill box in a toast before he chugs down mouthfull of them.

End
Writen by Esben Zakariassen
Translated and rewritten by Jørgen Mæland
Hope you like it :D

Treatment - Draft 1

This is my treatment. Sadly it did not get choosen, but no worries, i got a nice group of people to work with and we chose a very good story. I will post it here at a later date :)

My treatment:

Old Rain

The rain is pouring down so heavy its hard to see anything. The streets are filled with fog and smog. Arthur has a hard time walking straight, his legs is not what they used to be. One step takes almost all his energy, and breathing is though in this dark future. He is sure his time is up, but he wants his passing to be a happy one. He hasn’t smiled in years, people ignore him and the government don’t support his old bones anymore. People push him away as they are passing by him. Arthur fall face first down in a big puddle. He can hear child’s laughter. Its hard to get up. Something is lifting his arm and supports him up in a sitting position. Arthur cant see anything because of all the mud and water in his face and eyes. He hears child’s laughter again, and then a tiny voice saying "Are you alright old man?" He clears his eyes of the dirt, but no ones there. Instead he is holding a teddy bear. There’s something familiar about it. A tear runs down Arthurs cheek. You can see it in his eyes that he’s happy. He hugs the bear. His hand falls down in the puddle again. Its completely still. He sits there with eyes closed and a smile on his face. He is completely still, nothing can make him feel bad anymore. The teddy walks away and disappears in the fog and rain.

Pitching is hard!

Today we listened to everyone's pitch, and it comes as no suprise that this stuff i hard. You can feel that knot in your belly getting bigger and bigger the closer you come to your turn. Things didnt exactly go as planned, you get influensed by the persons going in front of you. So even if I had a plan on how to do mine, it got a little messy.
But i learned alot again :)
Next time will be better, and no one can resist my idea hehe.
I really liked a few of the stories, im looking at you Kenn, Esben and Daniel.
Anyways, going to post my treatment shortly. Most likely not today, but maybe tomorrow :)

Jorgen

Pitching day

Today we will pitch our stories, and the class will pick the best ones out.
I will post my treatment here after we are done today :)